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Ever feel like you lost your chance at a second chance? Well, I just did. 

I happened to be thinking about a novel I've been trying to write, and I needed inspiration, and my inspiration is gone. He's gone - his FaceBook's been dis-activated. It shouldn't make me upset but, it does, because he was my old friend. 

And I missed my chance. 

I missed my chance at friendship.

I missed my chance on realizing I was finally over him, but I'm not. And I don't think I'll ever be. 

I missed my chance at a second chance. 

All those fantasies were worthless, huh? I can't believe I actually thought I'd get past my autism and ask my old friend how he was or if he happy. I don't even think he realized who I was. So much for Best Friend Forever, huh, Caleb? 

That was thrown out the window when you moved without informing me! You, he, should have told me. Then I wouldn't have been so broken hearted. Bet he was afraid to tell me, bet he didn't want to see my reactions. Well, Caleb, you should have seen my reaction when I was told you moved - it broke me that day. I was broken and upset. Thanks. 

Life just fucking sucks. 

One depressing thing after enough. Can't I catch a damn break? 

Guess not.