I Can't Fix You

Disclaimer: This is based on true events. Some things are true some a false. This is an incomplete one-shot. And, one other thing: in the state of New York it isn't illegal to have a relationship/marriage with your second cousin because it isn't direct blood. Oh, and I don't own the song I Can't Fix You, I'm just using it to make a point. 




When you lose a relative, nothing can bring around everyone you wish. Wishing only makes your heart hurt more. When the relative is your parent's sister, it's closer than anything.

"We used to be a close, right semi-happy family,"

"What changed?"

"My Aunts - well, Aunt, now has a substance abuse problem. After Pop - that's what we all called our grandfather - died, my Mom said we aren't coming back. I was 10 when all this happened." Samantha Ellis said, twirling a piece of hair by her face. 

"Was it hard?"

"Of course it was. I immediately shut down, refusing to believe I wasn't going to see my cousins again. I was close to the three of them and I love them each in their own way." Sami wiped a tear that was trailing down her face. 

"Ten years is a long time."

"Tell me about it. My youngest cousin went to her first prom two years old. And my cousin Tim had a son! We didn't know they were trying, yet alone having a kid." Sami couldn't blame the anger that was coming out of her mouth, it was a horrible time. 

"I understand your pain,"

"No, you really don't. You don't know pain until you find out your cousin that you're only 3 months older than you has been in relationship left and right, has had sex before you, and now has moved out of the house away from his Mom. He's fucking living on his own." Samantha wanted to scream, she hated that her father made her go to therapy over this. But Sami knew it was good for her. 

"Samantha, you don't have to mad at him. He just knew what he wanted first, doesn't make you any different."

"I haven't been kissed yet."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, big difference."

"Are you going to the funeral?"

"I'm planning on it. My older brother is taking the day off, taking me and my middle brother up. This will be the first time I'll been up there without it being for a much needed shopping trip." Samantha glanced at the clock as she said that. Time was almost up, Sami now wanted to sit in silence and wait for the time to be over.

"Samantha, I have to ask. You seem really, if I can put it, pissed at your cousin. Is there something you're not telling me about him?"

Samantha sat there, staring at the therapist. She couldn't tell him, he'd just judge her. But it wasn't bad - they were 2nd cousins, there was no blood relation between them. "I won't judge you, Samantha,"

"If I said no, would that make this go away?"

"No."

"Then, yes..."

"For how long?"

"Since I can remember. We were also very close and we knew everything about each other. Jefferson and I, we didn't keep anything from each other." Sami said, feeling fresh tears form in her eyes. She hasn't told anyone about her and Jefferson in years - not even her best friend Liv knew about them. Only Taila did and they weren't on speaking terms at the moment. 

"Samantha, does he know?"

"Yes."

"And does he feel the same way?"

"I'm...pretty sure. I mean, we never tried it. We couldn't - he wasn't good on long-distance relationships and I never had one, so..." Samantha trailed off. 

Sami looked at herself in the mirror on the door. She was dressed for a funeral, Samantha would shock everything in the dress and the heels she was wearing. Her family knew now that she hated girly things - especially heels.  

"Sam, come on!"

"Coming, Colton," Sami sighed, grabbing her phone from the dock and the headphones. She preferred not to listen to utter silence coming from her brothers. Samantha walked down the stairs, looking at her brothers. Tristan was in his norm - black shirt, black pants, and black sneakers. Colton knew how the dress, he was in proper attire. Sami would stick out like a sore thumb now. "I'm changing!"

"You look fine, we need to go before Mom comes home." Colton said. "You told her I was going, right?" Sami asked.

"Yes!"

"Colt?"

"...No..."

"Colton Phillip! Are you insane?!"

"Get your ass in the car, Samantha Elizabeth, before I drag you." Colton growled. 

"And the bickering begins."

"Shut up, Tristan!"

Samantha was texting Liv as the car went down the interstate. She had her music playing - I Can't Fix You by Sasha Pieterse. She stopped in the lengthy text to listen to the lyrics. Sami sat there, staring out the window of the car, watching the cars go by. Samantha's life was being the song; it was describing her family perfectly. Samantha sat in the back in a daze - she never noticed that they arrived to the pre-funeral place. Sami didn't hear her brothers calling her name or getting out of the car. Samantha leaned back, closing her eyes and mouthing the words to the song that she had on repeat for the last two days. She wanted this day over with. Sami sighed until someone pulled the earbuds from her ears. She gasped at the sudden change, coming face-to-face with Jefferson. If she didn't know any better, he was staring at her. 

"J-Jefferson,"

"Hey cuz!" Jefferson took her hand, pulling her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight.

Tristan and Colton were talking to Tim until Tristan saw Sami hugging Jefferson. Samantha was in tears already and the funeral hasn't even started. Jefferson was taking her aside where Delia and Rachael were. Delia was holding baby Rocket in her arms. Samantha's face lit up when she met Rocket for the first time. "Colt, look,"

Colton turned, seeing their sister with her cousins. He could see it was the happiest she's been in years. Tim turned his attention to his second cousin. She was holding his son, making Rocket laugh. Jefferson had his arm wrapped around her waist as she talking to her cousins. Delia was 21 and Rachael was 16.

"Does Jeff still...?"

"As far as I know, yeah."

"Does he talk about Sam?"

"When I saw him before this...every so often. Sometimes when she posts something on FaceBook." Tim said, drinking the beer. "Oh! And somethin' about her...writing?"

"Samantha is a big writer."

"You don't say?"

"I can't believe you, Delia! That's incredible!" Sami smiled. "Thanks. It's a great opportunity! So, Sam, what's new with you? Got someone special?" Delia asked.

"Yeah, spill!"

"I've never had a boyfriend, guys."

"Seriously? You are gorgeous!"

"Thanks, but I'm not."

"Look at you, Samantha! You are denying yourself! I saw your pictures on FaceBook - a hoodie covering you up! You barely showed skin! You should have had the guys hopping for your attention!" Rachael said. "Coming from a 16 year old, still in high school." Sami rolled her eyes.

"Hey!"

"Uh, Sami, let's go to my apartment. It's not far from here." Jefferson said. "Are you sure? I mean..."

"Live a little, Sami,"

"Fine. At least I won't get in trouble like I did that one time when you wanted to saw me your magic kit." Sami said, handing Rocket over to Delia. "Okay, you need to stop that." Jeff said.

"Why?"

"Because it's fucking freaky that you remember that."

"I remember crying and you were comforting me." Sami said, holding her hand out to Jefferson. He took it, walking off with her. Samantha pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "What else do you remember?"

"That you and I would attempt to play YuGiOh, and you'd let me win. Or the time that Fi let us in her room to watch a scary movie on the SciFi channel. She tried to scare us and we just laughed at her. Or, the time you and I roamed Pop's backyard, making up games about fairytale lands and pretend places." Sami said. "I remember one time you came into my room and just cried over a boy." Jefferson said.

"Oh, Trevor Cross! I remember that. He moved away without telling me. My first crush."

"Other than me?"

"Other than you. I've had plenty of crushes over the years. Some were serious and some were 'oh, we can only be friends'. Too many guys broke my heart in high school. And not many knew how to put my heart together." Samantha sighed, gripping her iPhone. "So how are you?"

"I'm good. Good as a person can be."

"Me too."

"Girlfriend?"

"Currently single."

"Surprising."

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said back when you and I reconnected. It was a dick mistake and I want to make it up to yeah." Jefferson said. "You basically said, nope sorry. Try again in another lifetime, Jeff. It hurt. Do you wanna know how many people know that I had feelings for you? 1! Taila! Only because you've met her and she knew you." Sami said. 

Jefferson went silent.

"How much farther is your apartment?"


"You sing?"

"Not well."

"Oh, come on,"

"No, seriously. I suck."

"Come on, Sami. I know you've got pipes. I've got a guitar. Let's make some music." Jefferson grabbed his guitar, sitting on the couch. Sami looked around, pulling out her phone. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"I need to lyrics."

"To what song?"

"I Can't Fix You. Just let me play."

Samantha sat on the floor, stretching out her legs and leaning back against the couch. She started to strum the beat of the song. Sami closed her eyes, humming the beat as well.

"I can't fix you

You've gotta face these demons on your own

And I can't save you

But I promise you, you'll never be alone

Take my hand 

And take a deep breath

You don't have a lot of chances left"


Jeff watched as Sami song - she was a soft singer and he liked that she pretended that she couldn't sing. Samantha opened her eyes, seeing Jefferson staring at her. She cracked a smile as she continued.


"When the road is long and it's dark as the night

If you get too scared just hold me tight

You're the only one who can make things right

And I can't fix you 

I can't fix you


I still love you 

You're everythin' to me I hope you know

I still need you 

To get yourself out of this hole 

Promise me you're better than this 

Promise me you won't give me"


Sami hoped that Jeff got the message that was in the song, she missed him - she needed him. And he needed her and wanted her. Samantha and Jefferson were in love with each other since they were little but they didn't know what it meant. Their parents didn't separate them often but hated that 10 years went by and so much changed between them. 

Samantha never told her mother that she found Jefferson on FaceBook until a year later because she didn't want anyone to know that she in contact with her cousins - she didn't want anyone to mess it up on her.

Jefferson knew that as soon as Sami found his FaceBook page, he'd have to talk to her. He thought about her a lot when they didn't see each other after a while. Even their other cousin tried to forget about Samantha when she made an impact on their lives.


"When the road is long and it's dark as the night

If you get too scared just hold me tight

You're the only one who can make things right

I can't fix you 

I can't 


You can beat this baby

My faith strong 

The smoke is closing

And the battle has won

I'll be waiting for you

I'll be waiting"


"For a singer, you're really good."

"I did get a solo in my senior year, and everyone loved me."

"Why don't you sing?"

"Because I can't sing in front of crowds by myself. The solo took a lot of me but G thought I could do it." Sami said, getting ready for the final part of the song. 


"When the road is long and it's dark as the night

If you get too scared just hold me tight

You're the only one who can make things right


When the road is long and you think you're gotta fall

There's still a small voice beyond temptations calls

So the chose is yours 

Carry on or lose it all 

I can't fix you 

I can't fix you


I can't fix you" 


Samantha turned her head towards Jefferson, he leaning towards her. Sami stared at him, thinking about what she should do. She thought about her final couple of minutes with her therapist. 

"You know, when you're there. Have fun."

"It's a funeral."

"I understand that. But you'll be there with him and your feelings will overflow the moment you see him there. You should take the chance and make the most of it. You never know what could happen in a span of an hour, Samantha. Take a chance." 

Sami looked down at the guitar then back up at Jefferson. Take a chance, Sami. You never know what could-

She couldn't finish her thought when Jefferson pressed his lips against hers. Samantha's eyes widened but flickered close. Her hands found his cheeks, pulling her to a kneeling position. Jeff's hands landed on her hips. Sami and Jefferson battled against who would lead but Jeff won in the end, since Samantha didn't have a lot of practice in kissing. 

Sami stood up for a moment before straddling him, wrapping her arms around his neck, lightly tugging at her baby hairs on the back of his neck. One of Jefferson's hands pulling out the braid that Sami was wearing for the day so he could feel her hair through his fingers. 

Jefferson broke the kiss, trailing down her cheek to her neck and shoulder. Sami sighed as she tilted her head for better access for Jefferson. Samantha felt one of the straps of the dress fall down her shoulder to her upper arm as Jefferson left his mark on Sami. She grabbed his face, kissing him hard. She smiled against his lips until she needed air. 

Sami searched for his face; she could see that he enjoyed it as much as she did. Sami smiled at him, peaking his lips quickly. He tried to egg her on but she got off his lap. 

"Thanks, Jeff."

"For what?"

"My first kiss, my first heated make-out session, and first hickey." Samantha touched her skin. "Good thing I have a leather jacket today." 

"And?"

"I think we can be cousins again." Sami said sadly. It took them over 10 years to tell each they liked each other but it didn't go past that. It couldn't. They weren't 10 anymore; they would be turning 21 in 2014. They had different ideas of life and marriage. Sami wasn't ready for anything to do with sex yet while Jefferson was already sexual active and wanted more. "I'm sorry to say that but we both know it.”

"Yeah," 

"We'll find 'the one' it could be in 5 years or it could have already happened. You know, I read somewhere that we've already met our 'one' in school. We just don't know who he or she is." Sami said. 

"Trevor?"

"Maybe, maybe not." 

"Someone in high school?"

"No, they all have girlfriends." 

"So what now?"

"We go to that funeral, be friendly, and say we are cousins - now and forever." Samantha smiled, taking his hand. "We should go before my brothers call the cops and saw two 20 year olds are missing." Sami smirked.

"They would."

"Are you thankful that I'm not like my Mom?"

"Oh, hell yeah."